Quadrigisludophobia

 Quadrigisludophobia (n) an irrational or very powerful fear of team sports.

Quadrigisludophobia is not officially listed as a phobia, but nevertheless it is something that I struggle with. Now, this is something that many people find very confusing, but for those few who have this same fear know EXACTLY what I mean when I say that competitive team sports scare me half to death. When someone suggests a "fun" game of soccer, volleyball or frisbee when on the beach or in a park… I do NOT find any fun in that. I can't explain it, nor fully understand it, but that's how it is for me. Don't laugh, it's a really serious condition! Approximately about 2.39% of the Canadian population exactly suffer from this very affliction- and that's a fact. (Don't look it up though, just trust me.)

Why am I telling you this, you ask? Well just keep reading and you will understand eventually.

A couple people have called me brave for coming to the Solomon Islands on my own, not really knowing exactly what to expect when I got there. Personally, I have never thought that doing something like this took a particular extra amount of bravery or courage, but perhaps it does or perhaps it doesn't, I guess that doesn't really matter. And for the most part I was never very much nervous or anxious about the trip aside from typical worries that tend to come with traveling.

However, I must admit that as I sat at the gate getting ready to board the plane headed for Honiara, I was a bit overcome with nerves as the reality of what I was doing suddenly hit. Upon arriving in the Honiara airport I stepped of the plane and after proceeding through customs I found myself standing outside the entrance surrounded by locals, in a very different place with absolutely no idea who was coming for me or where I was going. All I had was hope and faith that someone WAS in fact coming. Waiting at a time like that was not the easiest, but fortunately after a seemingly long 20 minutes, my ride arrived and I headed on to the base.

The next couple hours were understandably a little overwhelming, having to take in a completely new environment and new people. And I must admit that I began to wonder if perhaps this is the place I am supposed to be and if I would be able to be comfortable in this strange place.

But, none of these worries, concerns or anxiousness even remotely compared to the moment that it was suggested I go out and play volleyball. I'm not even exaggerating.  I had decided that I was going to be open towards new things and experiences on this trip, unfortunately, I realized that participating would be included in this. Little did I know I would be confronting one of my largest fears that haunts me at home here in the Solomon Islands.

As I sat in the room I was to be staying in for the next few days I could hear the game begin and I expected to be summoned to come and join. As I sat in dread however, I soon realized that no one was coming to specifically come in to get me. It was I who was to step out and ask to join.

Now, stepping onto the soil of a totally foreign country not knowing a single person was not near as nerve-wreaking to me as stepping out onto a volleyball court and willingly participate in the team sport. But, when Jair (who is the husband of Lauretta, who are a missionary couple at the base and where I am currently staying for the time being) asked if I wanted to join, I as confidently as I could said yes.

And you  know what? I had a pretty good time. This probably had to do with the fact there were a number of children  participating and the lack of competition that usually accompanies team sports was not there.

In the evening, 3 pastors from Australia who are staying here for a week and who also happened to come in on the same flight as me, joined us for dinner. And through the conversation had with them and Lauretta and Jair, it hit me that yes I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. I felt confirmed that God has brought me here specifically for a reason.

 A different sort of overwhelming came over me, an overwhelming sense of peace. I don't know specifically what I will learn or experience during my time here, but I am confident that although I may have to face some fears and get a little uncomfortable I am right where I need to be right now. And that no matter what God is with me and that is pretty incredible.